Sunday, Feb. 12, 2006: 4:05 p.m.
So I have to write about this crazy dream I had before I forget. I don�t know why I have been giving these amazingly weird dreams. Anyway, so I dreamed that JD wanted to father a child. So he found a sergeant mother and paid her some amount of money to be the mother and they went to the sperm bank and she was supposedly inseminated. After a few months though, he could never come in contact with her because she had just taken the money and left. Needless to say, JD was very upset. Well then I decided that I wanted to have a baby, but I wasn�t seeing anyone. I was just going to be a single mom. The sensible thing, you think, would be to have JD father the baby. Well, for some reason, Ian wanted to be part of it too. I don�t know why, it was weird and complicated. So what wound up happening is we all went to the sperm bank and I was inseminated with both JD�s and Ian�s sperm so that I didn�t have to pick between the two and I would never know whose it was. Well I don�t know what happened in the nine months between, but I wound up having the baby. I think it was a boy, but that�s not important. So Phil decided he wanted to take care of it for a few days, which worked out because I wanted to hang out in Wilmington for a few days. So I went to Wilmington; and me and JD are hanging out in the mall and it seems that a whole shitload of the stores are going out of business. Well we walk into Suncoast (which for those of you who are unfamiliar with it, is a movie store in the mall in Wilmington that really is going out of business) and they are letting, for some reason, the Scene It DVD just play, so it is showing random clips from movies and then asking questions. Well we decided to watch it together.
So on the screen is some scene from a really old eighties movie that I have never scene and it has this young man in drag and it is zooming in on his face slowly and JD and I are trying to figure out if it is Matthew Broderick or Michael J. Fox. We can�t tell because he is talking in a really stupid voice. He is talking to an older man and he is very angrily coming on to him. Apparently he is the ex-boyfriend of the older guy�s daughter who got her pregnant just before he came out of the closet. He and the girl were still friends, but the father hated him. It was in this dark alley late at night and there was a trashcan wit ha fire in it (the barrel kind that homeless people use to keep warm). Both people knew who there were talking to, but the young man wasn�t really coming on to him, he was just trying to make him mad or something. So the kid keeps talking and finally pulls the wig off and starts talking in his normal voice and we see that it is Michael J. Fox (which me and JD were betting on and I won). So the two get really quiet and then MJF�s cell phone rings (it�s a very modern cell phone for the early eighties). He goes to answer the phone and the dad of the ex stabs him in the back and very brutally cuts off his head, arms and legs. I don�t what he does with the pieces, but the next scene (and I don�t know why this scene in Scene It is so fucking long) he is driving in the car with his daughter and her older brother in the back seat. The daughter is crying (everyone knows what the father has done) and they see a shitload of rats in the road. Now this frightens them because apparently they had heard that the drag queen guy had these powers, because he had sold his soul to the devil, that he could turn into rats or any other creature of the night. Well the dad was like, �It�s not true, right? I killed him, he�s dead, that�s not him, right?� And he turned around and in the middle between the two kids is bloody MJF drag queen guy and he says, �Guess again,� and smiles. Everyone in the car starts screaming and then the view goes to outside of the car and the windows are just squirted with blood and you still hear the daughter screaming and the scene stops and it goes to the Scene It question: �Name this movie.�
Well needless to say, JD and I are entirely baffled and we wait for what seems like quite a long time when the answer pops up: �Bram Stoker�s Teen Wolf.�
Figure that one out.
Snort the mooncrack.
MOONCRACKHEAD AND AWAY!
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