Monday, Jul. 26, 2004: 3:06 p.m.
Once upon a time there was a young girl named Mooncrack. Mooncrack was sixteen years old and lived in Wilmington, North Carolina. While walking home from school one day, a pink cat jumped out from behind a box and tackled Mooncrack to the ground. But just when she was about to let out a scream for help, Mooncrack realized that the pink cat was only licking her face, not trying to bite it off. At that moment, Mooncrack decided to keep the pink cat as a pet. And on the way home she decided to name her pet pink cat ''Angel.'' When Mooncrack and her new pet finally got home, guess who was standing on the front porch? That's right; it was Mooncrack's mother, Gail. And boy was she surprised to see a pink cat following Mooncrack into the yard! ''What in world is that?'' shouted Gail. ''It's a pink cat,'' answered Mooncrack. ''Dah, I can see that, Mooncrack, but what on earth is it doing here?'' said Gail. ''It's my new pet!'' answered Mooncrack. ''Oh you think so do you?'' remarked Gail. ''I wouldn't get your hopes up. You know how your father hates pink cats. But, well, I suppose you can keep him until your father comes home.'' And with that Mooncrack grabbed Angel by the scruff of the neck and led her new pet into the house--even though she knew her father was probably going to disapprove. Once in the house, Mooncrack and Angel played and played, that is until Mooncrack's favorite television show, ''Golden Girls,'' started. At that point Mooncrack forgot all about Angel having an unsupervised run of the house. That is until half way through ''Golden Girls,'' when Mooncrack was brought back to reality when she heard her father shout, ''Corn nuts!! Mooncrack! Get your gargantuan in the closet...NOW!!'' With that Mooncrack rushed into the closet to see what all the fuss was about. When she entered the closet, there stood her father, Philippe, pointing toward the ottoman. ''Will someone please explain that?'' asked her father. Then, as Mooncrack followed her father's finger to where it was pointing, she instantly knew what her father was so upset about. There, smack dab in the middle of the ottoman, was the biggest pile of cat doo-doo she had ever seen! ''I don't EVEN want to know how that got there,'' said Philippe. ''But you had better get it cleaned up now! And you had better get rid of whatever it is that could have done such a thing!'' Well, knowing her father as well as she did, Mooncrack knew there was no sense even asking her father if she could keep Angel for a pet. So without hesitation, Mooncrack set out to find where Angel was hiding. After a few minutes of looking, Mooncrack discovered Angel crouched beneath the table that Mooncrack did her acting on. ''Come on, Angel, it's time to find you a new home. And hey, don't look at me that way, I'm not the one who did the dirty deed on the ottoman!'' scolded Mooncrack. ''Thanks to you I'll never get to have my own pet cat!! And with that Mooncrack led Angel out of the house and down to the local Torrid. They had a pet section and Mooncrack knew the owner would find Angel a good home. So after saying good-bye to Angel, and thanking the owner of Torrid, Mooncrack walked backed home and attempted to drown her sorrows by slamming down a half dozen lemonades. But Mooncrack's pity party came to an abrupt end when her father reminded her about the mess she had neglected to clean up. And low and behold, midway through the clean-up, Mooncrack suddenly became thankful that someone else was going to have to do it from now on. The End.
�Well, that�s fun. I think that�s funny, because Hitler was a mass-murdering fuckhead.�
�I�ve never seen a man eat so many chicken wings.�
I think that�s my favorite song now; �That�s What Brian Boitano�d Do,� from South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut. I don�t like the Stan, Cartman and Kyle version as much at the other one. The song rules.
So, yea, me and Mom started LA Weight Loss. She won�t eat like she�s supposed to and I will and she�ll lose more weight than me; which doesn�t make any sense considering how she is and how old I am. It�s really fucking annoying.
So, I�m sitting in the guest room watching Disney�s Hercules, bored out of my mind and ready to go bed, this was this morning around 3:00 AM. Right after he kills the Hydra, I decided to give up and go to bed. I turn it off and before I can even sit down, I hear this tapping sound at the window. At first, I think I�m crazy, but then I hear it again and it�s really loud. Rather than fearing for my life from whatever was at the window, I was more feared about my mom hearing it and my life being in danger because I woke her up at 3:00 AM in the morning. I look out the shade and Kelly, Alyssa and Jessie are standing outside the window, just giggling and giggling. I opened the window and, I don�t know how, they convinced me to come outside and hang out with them. Nothing really happened. We walked to Jessie�s house and hung out in her garage and walked back to my house and hung out my garage. Exciting, huh? Around 5:30 AM, they left to Jessie�s and I told them that I�d call them on Alyssa�s cell phone when my mom left for work. I had the full intention of doing so, but I passed out a little bit before 6:00 AM. So, you can imagine my disappointment in myself when I woke up at quarter to 2:00 PM. Not really for not calling them back, even though I really did mean to call them back, but because I�m supposed to be eating this food for LA Weight Loss, and I slept and it�s really hard to make up the meals you missed. But you have to eat at odd hours for the rest of the day.
This diet really isn�t so bad, but it�s so weird because they want me to eat more than I was eating before. And I have to get up in the morning, just to eat. Not to mention that I have to take, like, six pills each morning when I wake up and two when I go to bed.
I used to think that I loved oranges, until I had mandarin oranges. Now I think oranges suck, and I want more mandarin oranges. I tried to buy some the other day, but they�re all out of seasons so the ones that the store had were nasty and either green, moldy or green and moldy. Not to mention, with these oranges, there a fucking seeds. I hate it when I forgot to check the slice for a seed and I bite into it and a seed squirts out and hits the back of my throat and I start to gag. Yuck.
When we joined LA Weight Loss, we had to sign a contract saying that we wouldn�t sell their products on eBay. That made me giggle.
Did I tell you guys that I decided what to do for senior project next year? I�ve decided to do my project on Independent Filmmaking; and for my product, I�m going to make an independent film. I�m not acting in it, I�m writing and directing. Phil told me that I should act in it anyway because I was talking about how I couldn�t think of who I wanted to play his sister (he�s the main character) and he said I should. I told him no, I was strictly writer/director. Well, let me tell you what it�s about� I just found out that I did write about it, but no one reads my diary so they didn�t read it probably (and you�re probably not reading it now, so I don�t know why I bother.) It�s about a couple named Jeff and Alex. Jeff (Phil) goes home for the weekend and talks to his sister, Angie (yet un-cast) about his boyfriend, Alex (hopefully John). His sister knows that he is gay, but his parents don�t. Well his mom, Diane (hopefully Cynthia from when I was in �Insanity of Mary Girard) hears him talking about how wonderful Alex is thinks that Alex is a girl and demands to meet her. Well, Jeff convinces Alex to dress as a girl. Well Alex decides to get clothes from some girl he knows (Probably Alyssa, Kelly or Jessie, if they�re willing to let John borrow their clothes, whoever�s he fits into best and if they want to be in my movie) and he goes to Jeff�s house for the weekend to meet his family. It�s going to be so funny. But, I need to work on the script some more, so I�ll talk more about it later.
Snort the mooncrack.
MOONCRACKHEAD AND AWAY!
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