Friday, Jul. 09, 2004: 11:04 a.m.
I just needed to get on to finish fixing Alyssa's diary, but I wanted to point out some observations I made about "Sesame Street" this morning. First off, there was absolutely nothing on TV (because I don't have cable) except for "Sesame Street" and "The Pyramid." Well, today is an "I hate Donnie Osmond" day, so I picked "Sesame Street." Ernie was looking for Big Bird at the circus, which didn't bother me all too much because Big Bird is this huge yellow bird, so he'd fit right in at a circus. However, Ernie and the rubber ducky got confused by a monkey with yellow feathers and a giant duck. A giant duck? Come on. Big Bird is a huge fucking yellow bird, I mean, how many big fucking yellow birds have you ever seen in your life? Besides Big Bird? None. And you want to know why? Because there are no other 7 foot tall yellow birds, that's why. So then, it goes to the Count, and I love the Count. The Count, Grover and Cookie Monster were always my favorite. So the count gives us the number of the day: 18. Yay Count! Then it goes to "Elmo's World." First off, when I was little, we didn't have "Elmo's World," and you know why? Because "Elmo's World" sucks, that's why. The theme song has four lines, one of which doesn't count because it�s the same as the one before it:
La la la la, la la la la, Elmo's World
Elmo loves his goldfish, his crayon too
That's Elmo's World"
Okay, we know the people at Jim Henson are more creative than that, please. Second, Mr. Noodle was on, which made me sad, because the original guy that played Mr. Noodle died, so they didn't do ANY close-ups of Mr. Noodle at all. Third, the kids wanted to ask Mr. Noodle how to mail a letter. Of course, Mr. Noodle is a stupid bastard and didn't know how, so they told him to find a mailbox and put it in. They gave him the whole procedure, step by step. So here's my question, if the kids knew how to mail a letter, why the fuck did they ask Mr. Noodle? Jesus. Everyone knows that Mr. Noodle is a stupid son of a bitch and doesn't know anything except how to tie that massive orange bow tie he wears. I don't even know how to tie a bow tie, so how can someone that can tie a bow tie not even fucking know how to mail a goddamned letter? Fuck you, Mr. Noodle.
Anyway, I have to pack and get ready to go to Phil's house and some other stuff.
Snort the mooncrack.
MOONCRACKHEAD AND AWAY!
*Note: When I put this in Microsoft Word for spell check, it told me many times that I had repeated the word "la." So, yea, up yours "Theme to Elmo's World."
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