Sunday, Aug. 04, 2002: 6:52 a.m.
I've been up all night thinking. It's not been completly about what I'm going to tell you even though every ten minutes, I hear it being said. I've been up all night with Gailmi and Jennifer. Last night (or earlier this morning, how ever you look at it) we went to Wal*Mart at 12:00 am. Well this was (according to Gailmi) the way to avoid contact with Sean and we couldn't go home until 2:00 am because he would be settled in by then and not up for bothering us. Well I was really NOT dressed for the occasion, but, I knew it was a bad idea even when getting dress, Jenn and I wore matching outfits, jeans and black spegetti straps shirts. No, you don't want to see a fat person in that outfit, but you shouldn't be at Wal*Mart that late anyway. Well around 2:00 am, Gailmi was in the line to buy the stuff and I had followed Jenn to the parking lot to protect her from getting mugged while trying to bum a cigarette off of strangers. Well, she gets one from some old dude and Wal*Mart does not permit smoking in the building and our Wal*Mart doesn't have outside benches so we simply sat on an aisle in the parking lot while she got her much needed dose of nicotine. Well some idiot was speeding through the goddamned parking lot like he was speed racer and I was like, "God, please, don't let those numb fucks bother us, please..." well folks, let me tell you, I have shitty luck and these assholes drive up and they're like "Hey," and I'm like "God, no, please..." and they say "Ya'll are some nasty, fucking fat bitches." and sped off at 60 miles per hour. I did manage to slip a middle finger in there and convince Jenn I didn't care, but to tell you the truth, it really bothers me. I've been holding it in all goddamned night, it just made me so mad. Jenn honestly didn't care, I know Jenn, she didn't care. I tried to play it cool, but it just doesn't suit me. We walked back in to see if Gailmi was done through the line yet and saying stuff about how if he hadn't sped off we would have told him about how his teeth looked like he had a dick-sucking hobbie or how he had a woman's cheek bones or hadn't we seen him down at the sex change office, but I wasn't that fast. I probably would have given him the usual, "Fuck you," but it's just not the principal of the thing. If you're reading this and laughing your ass off because that sounds like something you would do, please, sign my guestbook, maturely, and tell me why people like yourself find it so refreshing to make fun of fat people. I want to know. I've heard thousands of excuses and none have ever satisfied me. Some say it's because it makes them feel better about themselves, or that they think they should let it come to my attention as if I hadn't noticed, my conclusion: people are assholes. This is one of the things that pisses kids off and starts school shootings. Everyone feels so sorry for the kids that were shot by these insane and phsyco children with anger management problems as opposed to being angry with the kids for making fun of that one kid to the point where his mind and heart and soul simply could not take anymore. It's when he's reached a breaking point simply can't take it anymore and fucking snaps. He doesn't just shoot people and as much as I hate to say it, they probably deserve it. DON'T GET ME WRONG! I have no, nor have I ever, had urges to shoot up or blow up my school, I'm extremely against violence, that's my exact point. Why do people find it necessary to do that? It's worse for me because I even get it from my parents. Who do you go to when your own fucking parents nag you about it. People are like, "In case you didn't know, in case I've never told you before, in case you've never seen your own clothes, in case you've never seen a mirror, in case no one's ever told you, in case you've never come home crying because someone chased you around all goddamned day making fun of you and you didn't sit on your bed and cry until you just want to slit your fucking wrist, YOU'RE FAT." Godamn people. Three things to know:
A: Stephanie is fat.
B: Stephanie has always been fat.
C: Stephanie will probably always be fat.
Is that clear to all you assholes out there? We know we're fat, I've yet to meet a fat person who thought they were skinny. We don't feel the need to tell you you're skinny, why do you feel the need to tell us we're fat. It pisses me off because it's just like people who are racist. What goddamned differance does it make to YOUR life if some else's skin is a different color. Big fucking deal. Don't give me this shit about: "They should go back to Africa and get off my land." Well your ancestors brought them here and your just jealous because you don't get that pride walking down the street knowing that your ancestors had to fight to get you where you are today.
Well, I leave you knowing that I feel alot better about myself and I will be able to sleep now, but I want you to think about this. 75% of the nation is overweight so if you're skinny, you're the one who should feel like a freak. Not to mention the fact that fat can be lost, but your ugly face is going to stick that way.
Snort the mooncrack.
MOONCRACKHEAD AND AWAY!
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