In So Many Words...
Saturday, Sept. 22, 2007: 1:00 a.m.
Itís just one of those nights. Nothing specific/important/meaningful happened, but tonight is just one of those nights where Iíve had enough. Itís not one thing that makes me feel like this, but just thinking about what I donít have, what I want, how hard Iím trying and how Iím getting fucking nowhere. Itís one of those nights where I want to do something, but nothing works. I donít want to watch anything, I donít want to play anything, I donít want to go anywhere, I donít want to eat anything, I donít want to do ANYTHING, but I am not doing anything. I want to do something, but there is nothing I want to do. Iím tired of being in this horrible town with these horrible people. Iím tired of this country. Iím tired of sharing a planet with fuckheads and dickwads. Itís the tired old (and I hate to use this expression, but itís the one people are most familiar with) story of the douchebag and turd sandwich. The rock and the hard place. Stalemate. Cat game. No winner. Just everyone trying their damnedest and no one getting it right. No one getting one they want. No one wins, no one loses. No one does anything but try again. Itís not a failure and reattempt, just a continuation of a fruitless venture. This is a feeling thatís as pointless as learning underwater basketweaving. Iím not trying to be emo, and if you are smart enough to really get this, you wonít think itís emo anyway. No, it isnít that time of the month; itís that time of the life. I hate seeing people less talented than me being more successful than me. I hate Amanda Bynes. Everyone is all about this ďdown with Paris HiltonĒ mess. I want to alter it. ďDown With Perez Hilton.Ē I know that this isnít going to affect his ďcareer,Ē and heís more famous than Iíll ever be, but heís not talented. Heís not funny. Heís not intelligent. Paris Hilton is a slut, fine. Iím fine with her having sex with everything and being stupid and all that jazz and flashing all her money. I just hate when she tries to actually do something that she is entirely unable to do (i.e. act, write, drive, etc.). She has tons of money, let her go party and smash her car into a parked one, I donít care. She didnít earn the money, but her family did. Itís rightfully hers. All Perez Hilton does is talk about famous people that he doesnít like. I do that everyday! I do that every fucking day, but I donít think I should get paid for it or that people should want to pay attention to me because I gave myself a fake name to sound kind of like someoneís who is famous and then just talk about people. Thatís nothing. Heís nothing.
Iím going to bed.