Thursday, May. 05, 2005: 10:48 p.m.
So I�ve been writing in my notebook to Angel all the stuff that has been �going down.� Nothing important, just the little things, however, I should definitely talk to you guys about Friday, April 22nd.
So I had a fieldtrip for 1st and 2nd block. The Teacher Cadets all went to Wrightsboro Elementary for a dedication ceremony thing; but we got back in the middle of second block. Me and a couple of other people decided to go out for brunch at Subway, because it�s right by school and we could be back shortly. We came back about twenty minutes into 3rd block. I wasn�t worried about it because I was thinking, �Oh, he doesn�t have anyone from Teacher Cadet in his 2nd block class; I�ll just tell him that I just got back from the fieldtrip, he�ll never know.�
(Holy shit, guys, I�m at the public library and I was listening to the new nine inch nails album (it�s in stores (as of 5/3/05), but you can listen to it online, and it�s totally worth it) and I didn�t realize how loud it was and this kid comes up to say something and I take the headphones off and realize that he could hear it all the way at the back of the lab, like 20 feet away, it was SO LOUD. That�s not why he came over though, he came to borrow some paper, but it was hysterical.)
Anyway, back to the story, I go into the class and he�s like, �Where have you been?� �I just got back from the Teacher Cadet fieldtrip,� I say with total confidence.
�Susan Lawton got back from that fieldtrip during second block.�
I was thinking, �Oh damn, oh damn!� Mr. Knape says, �Did everyone not ride together?� �Uh, no,� I say quickly, �no some people drove, some road the bus-� �Okay, your group's working in the back.� �Okay, thanks.�
So in the back, everyone had decided that they wanted to go to lunch, so even though I had just eaten, I decided to go because Kate, Will and Wes were going. Kate and Wes rarely go and Will has never gone with us, so I knew it�d be fun. It was me, JD, Krista, Eddie, Will, Wes, Kate, Ashley and Amanda. Ashley comes extra rarely and the same with Amanda, but I don�t care about her because she�s a bitch. Anyway, after that, JD and Eddie had planned to go back to Eddie�s house and watch �Buffy the Vampire Slayer� because he has, like, Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD.
(I'm back home now.)
I was making a lot of fun of it because I hate that show. Anyway, I was still having fun because I was with JD, Eddie and Will and it�s impossible not to have fun with them. Well at one point I happened to notice a hamster cage at the top of the stairs. �You have a hamster?� I ask. �Yea,� says Eddie, �his name�s Otis. He�s only got one eye �cause he got in a fight with another hamster, he�s awesome.� �Can I pet him? Or will he attack me?� �No, it�s okay.�
So I make my way up the stairs and I smell an all-too familiar scent: the scent of rodent death. �Eddie,� I say, �it smells like death up here� I think your hamster may be dead.�
�He�s not dead, he�s just sleeping.�
�I don�t think so. He�s not moving or anything. I�m pretty sure he�s dead.�
�Yea,� says JD, �hamsters are nocturnal. They�re dead during the daytime.�
�I�m telling you guys!� I insist, �I�ve had, like, a thousand pet rodents and I know what a dead one smells like!�
I open it�s cage and poke it a few times; stiff and cold. �Eddie!� I continue, �this is one dead ass hamster.�
Eddie finally gets up and marches up the stairs, mumbling under his breath. As he reaches the top of the stairs and the scent hits him, he gasps for air. �Dear God,� he cries, �oh, man, he is so dead!� I fall to the floor laughing. �Otis,� says Eddie. He doesn�t sound upset or in mourning, just annoyed and disappointed in the rodent.
JD and Will begin to laugh as Eddie puts on a yellow dishwashing glove and finds some random shoebox. His t-shirt is pulled over his nose like a child. I was afraid I was going to fall down the stairs because I was laughing so hard.
Eddie�s dad comes home and he tells his father of Otis�s death and chases him with the box saying, �smell this! Do you smell it?!� His dad tells him that they must play a death song. Eddie brings his dad a conch shell and takes a horn off of the wall for himself and the two of them blow so hard that every other sound in the world is inaudible. I don�t remember the last time I laughed so hard.
The thing was that it was his sister�s hamster and he was not looking forward to having to tell her. She comes in the front door with a friend, giggling and happy as most preppy 12 year-olds do (this one�s cool, though).
�Maura,� Eddie says sadly, �I�m afraid I have some bad news.�
She looks worried. �What is it?�
�Did you see the box on the front porch? Or notice a foul odor?�
�No,� she answers.
�Well, something happened.�
�What?�
�Maura� Otis died.�
She suppresses a laugh. �Okay.�
She didn�t even care! Eddie was more broken up about it than she was! Damn it was funny. Anyway, the rest of the afternoon was spent watching �Buffy the Vampire Slayer,� and I made a lot of fun of some random fat vampire character who sat in a bathtub naked and was so fat, his stomach rolls looked like a vagina. I talked about that the majority of the time. Maura thought it was positively hysterical. I like her. She�s spunky. She let me borrow �The Sims 2� and I have played it everyday since, but we�re not getting into that.
So more recent news: our terrible plays were this past Monday. Mom was out of town all week. She left last Friday, the 29th, her birthday. She offered to come back for my play, but I said not to worry about it because it wasn�t worth seeing. Then after the three plays were over, a lot of people said that the only one worth watching was �The 39 Dollar Man,� which was the one I was in. (Mr. Knape split the class into three different plays because he is weird.) Then Eddie told me later that his mother said that �The 39 Dollar Man� would have been unbearable if it wasn�t for me. I think that was a compliment.That made me kinda sad though, because Will and JD were in mine and I thought that they were really funny.
I�ve been hanging out with Eddie a lot lately. He�s flipping awesome. My sister wants me to date him. I think that�s funny. It�s not happening, of course. She really hates Wes� he�s been such an ass lately. He�s �dating� this girl, Amber who is Ashley�s cousin. He says they�re dating, she says they aren�t. I don�t think that Wes is lying about it, it�s just a difference of viewpoints. Now I like Amber just fine, I think she is funny and sweet and what have you, but Wes is being an ass. It�s a straight boy thing. Everyone has been trying to decide lately what it is and I think I�ve cracked the case. See, I don�t think him and Amber are having sex or anything, but he�s getting action, which I just mean as getting more attention than he�s usually getting from a girl. I can tell because he is acting the way Phil acts when he is getting laid: like a douche.
Now no one can talk to Wes about it without him attacking them, of course, as boys do. If, say, me or Amanda tried to talk to him about it, he�d think we were trying to �break them up� because we are �jealous.� If JD tried to do it, Wes would think JD was speaking on my behalf and that goes back to the previous hypothesis. If Eddie tried to do it, Wes would think that Eddie didn�t like Amber, or something stupid like that. If there is anyone who is least likely to have a hidden agenda, it�s Ashley, who is Amber�s cousin, and I think, best friend. If anything, she�d want to keep them together. So Ashley tries to talk to Wes, and there is no way for her to be rude, so I don�t she how he could have reacted the way he did. Ashley is pretty much the sweetest person in the world and the Queen of Precious. Anyway, she�s talking to Wes and she just happens to bring up the whole �Wes + Amber = ?� situation and she�s like, �Well, Wes, don�t you think it�s a little odd that Amber doesn�t want to call it a relationship? What do you think that is about?� Wes attacks her. �What is that supposed to mean? You don�t know. We�re doing things my way. If you were me, you would have made out with Amanda and Stephanie by now.�
What? Ashley is a lot of things; most of them being sweet, kind, precious, elegant and all-around great, but a ho she is not. He�s just a douche, I suppose. I�m not going to say that he�s beyond hope, because if he stops being an ass, I�d gladly get back to hanging out, but I wish he would stop being so douchey. Oh well.
Anyway, it�s getting kind of late and I�m sleepy. Happy Cinco de Mayo, all.
Snort the mooncrack.
MOONCRACKHEAD AND AWAY!
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