Sunday, Oct. 02, 2005: 10:30 a.m.
Yesterday this girl told me she thought I was Jewish because of my huge nose. It made me sad. I told her, "No, it�s because I�m black." Well then she laughed at me. "You�re not black!"
All these kids like to talk about the fact that they are German/Irish/Scottish because of their great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather. Um, I�m blacker than they are German/Irish/Scottish. My dad is half-black, half-white. That means I am 1/4 black. No, I don�t mean 1/4 African-American. My grandfather is neither African nor American; he�s Haitian. Nice try. So why do these people laugh when I say I am Haitian, or black or Caribbean or however else I word it at that moment? They like to talk about their ridiculously diluted European heritage as if they were born and raised in [insert extremely Caucasian European country here]. I�ve actually spent extended amounts of time in Haiti and Puerto Rico (which is the country my dad stakes his heritage in. I guess that works because he has the color for it and lived there from when he was twelve until he was [x] years old.)
So what makes these kids think that they can say that they are German/Irish/Scottish, but it�s funny when I say I am black? Truth? They don�t embrace their heritage except when it�s convenient or relevant to the conversation. It�s not something that makes them look any different from anyone else. "You�re pasty-white with stick straight hair and a pointy nose? I�m pasty-white with stick straight hair and a pointy nose! You�re Scottish? I�m Irish! Oh, well no, neither of my parents are actually from Ireland, either. I�m Irish because my great-great-great-great-great-great-uncle�s stepbrother�s aunt�s cousin�s second cousin twice removed went there for foreign exchange his junior year of college."
Fuck you. I on the other hand, have some ethnicity other than white. Although I dye it, my hair is naturally dark (almost black), ridiculously thick and curly. I have a huge nose, dark brown eyes, I�m furry, and I was generously supplied with two extra helpings of ass. I could go into stereotypes that are true about me, but I don�t want anyone to think I am racist (oddly enough). Because the fact is that although I am 1/4 black, I am 3/4 white. Although my blackness is much more interesting, no, I wouldn�t say that I am black. I would say, technically, I am "Multi-Racial," because you have to declare it if you are 1/8 or greater. As for my nationality: I�m American. Try that next time someone asks you. "I�m not German/Irish/Scottish. I�m American, born and raised." That, sir, is the truth.
Anyway, I�m done here. I�m going to listen to some Calypso music and shake my shelf of an ass.
Snort the mooncrack.
MOONCRACKHEAD AND AWAY!
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