Tuesday, Mar. 13, 2007: 9:23 a.m.
Okay, sheeple. I see that I haven�t left a blog in forever, even though I have been here and had nothing better to do. I just haven�t known what to talk about. I was afraid you might I think I don�t love you anymore, but I promise I do! However, let me tell you what brings me to your door this morning.
There is this older man in my neighborhood with two dogs that he often leaves on ropes or leashes tied to trees in his yard. Ropes and leashes long enough, let me tell you, to allow them to play in the street and almost long enough to play in the yard across the street from his own. He leaves these dogs outside like this unsupervised for hours at a time. I�ve never even come close to hitting one of his stupid dogs. When I am passing them, I am going like 3 miles per hour and driving in the yard across the street to avoid the animals.
Well a few nights ago as I was driving by, the man was out walking his dogs in the middle of the road when I had to stop because one of his dogs was jumping on my car. It barked and scratched at my window and the man did all but pull his dog away and discipline it. Before I could pull away, the man was banging on my window telling me to roll it down. I did such and listened to this man I had never seen before in my life (just his stupid dogs in the middle of the street) yell at me for �speeding� in the neighborhood, constantly endangering the life of his dogs and other animals and children throughout the neighborhood and he threatened to call the landlord. Let me tell you guys something. First of all, the speed limit in this neighborhood is 10 MPH. As retarded as that is, I abide because there are always unsupervised children and animals, such as this man�s, roaming in the streets. Secondly, I live like 30 feet from the opening of the neighborhood. How much speed could I possibly get between the opening and my driveway without having to slam on the breaks to get into my driveway? Thirdly, when the incident happened with this man and his dogs, I was not 10 feet from my driveway. How much speed could I have built up to that point? Nonetheless, I let the man do his ranting and I just ignored it, but I did become cautious about my speed just in case.
Since the incident, I have been checking my speedometer every time I pass that house to make sure I wasn�t going over the 10 MPH speed limit. This morning, I left to go to school. My eight o�clock class was cancelled so I came home and started playing some Sonic on Wii. After I�ve been home for about twenty minutes, I hear a knock on the door. At first, I was very reluctant, but I walked to the door and opened it. Sure enough on the other side was the old man from a few nights ago. He�s standing there in a toboggan, robe and slippers with a cigarette in my driveway. He immediately asks me, �Young lady, is your mother or father home?� This shows to me that no wonder this man has had troubles seeing my lack of speed. He�s blind as a bat if he thinks I look about 16 years old. I haven�t looked 16 years old since I was 12 years old. I promptly told him no and he asked if needed to speak with one of them about my speeding problem. This time, I stood up for myself because I knew he was fucking wrong. I told him, �look, sir, I have been watching speedometer, and I guarantee you, I was not going faster than 10 MPH.� He retorted with a bunch of this number, �No, no, no, no, no, you were going about 20 MPH.� I then said, �I swear to you, I was watching my speedometer-� �I don�t care what you swear.� Okay, so know this son of a bitch is accusing me of being a liar. He told me that he had two animals and there were children in this neighborhood. If he was really as attentive as he claims to be, he would have seen me with my dog in this neighborhood on a number of occasions. He then asked me if I had ever seen a person or animal that had been hit by a car and if I had ever seen anyone�s blood and guts squished out of them. When I told him I hadn�t he told me that maybe I needed to, which I took as a threat. He threatened to call the landlord again and told me, �three strikes and you�re out.�
Now I, like most people, do not like being punished especially when I have done nothing wrong. Shortly after he left, I called my mother and told her about my second encounter with this man and asked her for the number of the landlady so that I could tell her about the man who has been harassing me all week. She told me she would do it for me when she got home. So I now the waiting game begins.
Anyway, I have class in ten minutes and I have to pee. Tell me something.
Snort the mooncrack.
MOONCRACKHEAD AND AWAY!
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