In So Many Words...
Saturday, Sept. 22, 2007: 1:00 a.m.
It�s just one of those nights. Nothing specific/important/meaningful happened, but tonight is just one of those nights where I�ve had enough. It�s not one thing that makes me feel like this, but just thinking about what I don�t have, what I want, how hard I�m trying and how I�m getting fucking nowhere. It�s one of those nights where I want to do something, but nothing works. I don�t want to watch anything, I don�t want to play anything, I don�t want to go anywhere, I don�t want to eat anything, I don�t want to do ANYTHING, but I am not doing anything. I want to do something, but there is nothing I want to do. I�m tired of being in this horrible town with these horrible people. I�m tired of this country. I�m tired of sharing a planet with fuckheads and dickwads. It�s the tired old (and I hate to use this expression, but it�s the one people are most familiar with) story of the douchebag and turd sandwich. The rock and the hard place. Stalemate. Cat game. No winner. Just everyone trying their damnedest and no one getting it right. No one getting one they want. No one wins, no one loses. No one does anything but try again. It�s not a failure and reattempt, just a continuation of a fruitless venture. This is a feeling that�s as pointless as learning underwater basketweaving. I�m not trying to be emo, and if you are smart enough to really get this, you won�t think it�s emo anyway. No, it isn�t that time of the month; it�s that time of the life. I hate seeing people less talented than me being more successful than me. I hate Amanda Bynes. Everyone is all about this �down with Paris Hilton� mess. I want to alter it. �Down With Perez Hilton.� I know that this isn�t going to affect his �career,� and he�s more famous than I�ll ever be, but he�s not talented. He�s not funny. He�s not intelligent. Paris Hilton is a slut, fine. I�m fine with her having sex with everything and being stupid and all that jazz and flashing all her money. I just hate when she tries to actually do something that she is entirely unable to do (i.e. act, write, drive, etc.). She has tons of money, let her go party and smash her car into a parked one, I don�t care. She didn�t earn the money, but her family did. It�s rightfully hers. All Perez Hilton does is talk about famous people that he doesn�t like. I do that everyday! I do that every fucking day, but I don�t think I should get paid for it or that people should want to pay attention to me because I gave myself a fake name to sound kind of like someone�s who is famous and then just talk about people. That�s nothing. He�s nothing.
I�m going to bed.